Theres a fraudulent root element of comedy in that we say things night after night as though they … - Doug Stanhope

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There's a very simple reason for focusing on the nuclear issue. Many, many issues are of supreme importance in one way or another, but if we blow ourselves up with nuclear weapons, no other issue is really going to matter. Quite possibly there would be no other human beings left to be concerned about anything else.

Doug Stanhope

Theres a fraudulent root element of comedy in that we say things night after night as though they are rolling effortlessly from the brain and off the tongue, when in fact they are crafted over weeks and months and years.

Months, Night, Roots, Weeks, Years

Same Author Quotes

Whatever your problems are, keep in mind that you die at the end of all this. Lets get out there, brutalize ourselves and laugh at those certain pricks who take it seriously, like there is any way to win in all this.

Die, Laugh, Laughing, Like, Mind, Winning

Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have never met

Hate, Met, Pride, Race, Religion, Teach

They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your pocket. Tell that to the 90-year-old lying awake at the graveyard shift in the nursing home, groaning with dementia. The only reason he hasn't killed himself is that he hasn't figured out a way he can do it with pudding.

Home, Lying, Nursing, Pocket, Tell, Way

Have you ever thought about registering as a sex offender just so your friends won't bring their kids over to your house?

Friends, House, Kids, Sex

If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.

Children, Language, Parent, Probably, Raise