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I always give homeless people money, and my friends yell at me, 'He's only going to buy more alcohol and cigarettes. ' And I'm thinking, 'Oh, like I wasn't?'

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Dana Gould

A giant python was discovered in Florida. Spooky news for a state that derives half it's income from a giant mouse.

Derives, Florida, Giants, Python, State
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Does anyone remember how we used to get cash before ATM's? Did we have to go inside the bank? Then what? We lived like apes!

Apes, Atm, Cash, Doe, Lived, Used

There's something vaguely erotic about watching a woman eat a banana while cupping two plums.

Eat, Erotic, Plums, Two, Woman

Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.

Pants, Remember, Remember You, Remembers You, Stop

When you break life down, it's about 100% time management.

Break, Life, Management, Time, Time Management

Usually the people that peak in high school are tragic, tragic adults. Most of them end up working for the water department in their hometown and driving around said high school as the decades slip past.

Adults, Past, People, School, Tragic, Usually
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