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It was lovely when you found students who responded to things you were enthusiastic about.

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Katt Williams

You can't even go to Heaven if you get killed by Spinach, you can't even go. You don't even know what to tell Jesus. You Just 'You know what Jesus, I did have a salad, I really Did I- I Didn't know what I was thinking about.

Funny, Humor, Jesus, Killed, Salad, Spinach
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Just hit the blunt one time and see if it don't change your perception on whats important in your life.

Change, Funny, Hit, Humor, Marijuana, Whats

I can remember thinking, at the age of 3, that I invented the concept of lying. By a brilliant thought process, I figured that I could fib and avoid the repercussions for something I had done, because lying meant that it never happened. However, by the time I was 5, I came to hate lying and to think of it as the worst thing in the world. That's my earliest memory. Weird, but true!

Concept, Fib, Figured, Hate, Lying, Memories

Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache.

Aspirin, Funny, Headache, Lasts, Legal

Genius is often called crazy, but crazy is never called genius. So you just have to put out the work and let the chips fall where they may.

Chips, Crazy, Fall, May

A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big.

Big, Funny, Humor, Small, Things, Two
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