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If I wrote a play with four characters every single one of them would talk like me regardless of age or sex.

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Stephen Colbert

I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work.

Fundraiser, Funny, Hold, Littles, Work
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Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.

Drinking, Gay, Way, Yes

If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.

Continue, Corporations, Exist, Government, Guarantees, People

You have a firm grasp of the obvious.

Firm, Grasp, Obvious

I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.

Believe, Guy, Magical, Possible, Saws, Soleil

Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.

Blow, Give, Man, Men, Suicide, Teach
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