If you're Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and your marriage is breaking up - that's an awful thing. But to see that speculation in people, it's gotta sting a little bit.
Humor is the truth; wit is an exaggeration of the truth.
If any of you cry at my funeral I'll never speak to you again.
If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be led.
I feel like dying when I'm helpless
Every noble work is at first impossible.
Failure knocks the door of the unprepared minds very often.
But always I was a private citizen whose activities in government or political party were appointive.
The measured blood beats out the year's delay.