I'm not the type that won't drink but I will drink once in awhile.
I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.
I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.
I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog
First I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it. She was addicted to crack, so of course she did it. It was so gross, though, it made her throw up, so I said I'd pay her another thousand to lick all that up, too. She started to, but for some reason she started crying as she was doing it, saying, 'I went to college! I have a degree!' Oh man, it was hilarious. I don't know if it was technically sex because I just beat off on her face, but definitely one of my most intense orgasms.
The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.
I think there are bound to be obstacles in any path to success. I mean, I'm Jewish, and there's nothing I can do about that. Instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I got over it and did something with my life.
Ministry is received, not achieved.
Lawyers know how to take isolated complaints in a divorce case and build them into one big one.
Voting is not the most you can do; it's really the least you can do.
I think cartoons are important. Tell me that you don't like cartoons, and I think there's something wrong with you. I don't understand why people don't like cartoons.