No matter how much I try, I cant figure out how to not be adorable!
I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
I could never be in a cult. For starters, they never accessorize properly. David Koresh had no fashion sense, Jim Jones wore leisure suits, and I don't care how charismatic Osama bin Laden was, an AK-47 and an insulin drip do not take the place of drop earrings or a well-placed brooch.
Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep. '.
In my work, there is a lot of storytelling. The storytelling is not a new thing. Back in the [Howard] Thurston days, the [Harry] Houdini days, the [Harry] Blackstone days, it was stories, but the stories were, "We're going to the Egyptian temples, and we're going to vanish the Prince of Thebes," and, "On my last trip to the Orient. . . "
These days most women have jobs that last way too long. A lot of people in New York barely have time to get laid.
For the blue-collar worker, the driving force behind change was factory automation using programmable machine tools. For the office worker, it's office automation using computer technology: enterprise-resource-planning systems, groupware, intranets, extranets, expert systems, the Web, and e-commerce.
Even though I have so many things to figure out, I'm very much at peace. I don't feel like I'm closing the chapter on this phase of life - I feel like I'm closing the book and starting a new one.