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I love Japanese and Thai food, especially seafood, and eat out with my wife two or three times a week.

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Sam Kinison

Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!

Bakker, Lost Everything, Thing, Wake, Wake Up, Worst
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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

Marriage, Married, Wedding Anniversary, Worry, Years

I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.

Funny, Three, Cost, Weeks, Center

There's always 30 or 40 Christians standing around, saying, "It's a shame that he has to die. " And Jesus is saying, "Well, maybe I wouldn't have to if somebody would get a ladder and pair of pliers!!

Christian, Jesus, Pliers, Somebody, Standing

I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.

Lived, Miss, Missing, Two, View, Views

The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies. . . You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!

Moon, Space, Pussy, Impress, Flag
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