Paris ain't much of a town.
Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.
I think boxers are the greatest athletes in all sports for the simple fact that they don't cry. That is mind-blowing. Have you ever been punched in the nose? Oh my gosh, it hurts so bad. They have to go back to corner, where some little man yells at them. 'Shut up, I just got punched in the face!'. . . If I was a boxer, do you know who I would hire as my corner man? My mom.
You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
How about we get rid of separate bathrooms for boys and girls? Gays and straights share the bathroom with zero issues. We need to put an end to the sexist pooping policies of yesterday. The only way to achieve gender equality is to start crapping in front of each other.
I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
'Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of American culture and society,' and I'm sure in politics, you would have to acknowledge that it has worked.
Riposte of "that old lady in the anecdote who was accused by her nieces of being illogical," Logic! Good gracious! What rubbish! How can I tell what I think till I see what I say?
Truly great actors carry their characters in silence with them. They communicate without words the relationships that predate the movie.
pulled into my convenient neighborhood fast food restaurant. I ordered shrimp salad, onion rings, and a beer. The shrimp were straight out of the freezer, the onion rings soggy. Looking around the place, though, I failed to spot a single customer banging on a tray or complaining to a waitress. So I shut up and finished my food. Expect nothing, get nothing.