Philosophy is the microscope of thought. Everything desires to flee from it, but nothing escapes it.
Lady, I didn't get up this morning wanting to be a jackass. . . but you just pushed my jackass button.
How about this, have you ever farted so hard you shivered?
God, she's growing up, and I don't know when it happened, man. I used to buy her Minnie Mouse panties and little Winnie the Pooh underwear. I was helping my wife fold cloths. I picked up a pair of skimpy underwear. I looked at my wife and said: When you gonna wear these for me? She goes, I can't. They're your daughter's. Aaahh! No, no, no! There was nothing to them! The how-to-wash tag was the biggest piece of cloth on there.
When you're doing stand-up, you achieve an intimacy with the audience you can't get on TV. There's not a better feeling in the entire world then when you look out and see the audience is identifying with you.
Engvall: Yesterday, my son was out in the yard playing with his friend, and he hit his friend. I walked up to him, and I said, "Hey. . . " (pantomimes hitting his son) "We don't hit". He looked at me like, "Here's your sign, Dad".
Can someone explain to me why pilots feel they need to wake everyone to tell us that we are flying by a cloud that looks like a monkey.
The camera cannot leave the man, but the man can leave the camera. It's in the style of documentary where you make an agreement between a camera and a man and say, "I'm going to film you now. "
Race differences show up early in life.
Whatever deficiencies the leaders of the American Revolution may have had, reticence, fortunately, was not one of them.
And then my chance really happened in 1996 when we added the second flight of the tether satellite.