I do something about the weather. I stay home.
Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers. " And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it. " I didn't know what to do! I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat. " "No thank you. "
Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
How one walks through the world, the endless small adjustments of balance, is affected by the shifting weights of beautiful things.
Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn't know this either, but love don't make things nice - it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren't here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and *die*. The storybooks are *bullshit*. Now I want you to come upstairs with me and *get* in my bed!
Trouble and prayer are closely related. Trouble often drives men to God in prayer, while prayer is but the voice of men in trouble.
You condition a vulnerable boy at puberty to become aroused by brutality. It's the violence, not the nudity. Frankly, I wouldn't mind if every teenage boy had a subscription to Playboy. They'd be looking at attractive naked female bodies while they masturbated, not eviscerated female bodies.