Keep your talent in the dark and you'll never be insulted.
The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.
My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.
Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.
I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.
Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.
I think I should be in a film called 'Space Shrews'. Where I go to space. With a load of shrews. And nothing really happens. We just get out and have a lolly and then come back. But it'll be a musical the ship will be built out of my own hair.
True visionaries are never lukewarm.
The month of May was come, when every lusty heart beginneth to blossom, and to bring forth fruit; for like as herbs and trees bring forth fruit and flourish in May, in likewise every lusty heart that is in any manner a lover, springeth and flourisheth in lusty deeds. For it giveth unto all lovers courage, that lusty month of May.
Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.
Now is the time when men work quietly in the fields and women weep softly in the kitchen; the legislature is in session and no man's property is safe.