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What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.

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Don Rickles

I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew even­tually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.

Eventually, Grandchildren, Half, Kissing, Nice, Philippines
Same Author Quotes

Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm not going to offend!

Afraid, Mind, Nagging, Night, Person

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

Alley, Opera, People, Singing

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

Beach, Chair, Matter, Sitting, World

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

Kissing, Mind, Music, Pocket, Ring

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

Couch, Doctors, Rooms, Therapy, Thinking, Took
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