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Time is fluid, so the moments where everything feels perfect pass in a wink, and those where you're on your knees in despair drag on like the death of a thousand cuts.

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Stephen Colbert

The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun

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Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.

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If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.

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You have a firm grasp of the obvious.

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I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.

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Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.

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