Some people come up to me and say "You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia" And I say … - Mike Birbiglia

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Think about it: Reducing crime and poverty and ensuring that we have an educated, stable work force has a direct effect on you and me and the future of our country.

Mike Birbiglia

Some people come up to me and say "You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia" And I say "Well, here in America, you're annoying. . . "

America, Funny, Humor, Italy, Know, Pronounced

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I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.

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I think if anything, the fact that it's popular right now makes me go: "Well, I guess I'm going to start doing something else then in the next few years. " I dunno, it almost feels hackneyed at this point. To start a premise by saying, "I did this awkward thing. " But then again, awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy. Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist.

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Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have "plans.

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The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

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What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.

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