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With the Roxbury guys (on 'Saturday Night Live'), I think the breaking point was when Stallone came on and wanted to do the sketch just because. And we're, like, 'Well, now we've got to create a story, so, what, are we bopping our heads with Rocky? What are we doing?'

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Leslie Nielsen

I'm a professional actor. If I was a plumber, I wouldn't just do my plumbing in Beverly Hills bathrooms; I'd like to install air conditioning units and a few other things.

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Doing nothing is very hard to do. . . you never know when you're finished.

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Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.

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Doing nothing is very tough to do because you never know when you're finished. The upside is that from the moment you wake up in the morning, you're on the job.

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There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking.

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One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up.

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