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When I do a film, usually I work from my director. That's my boss. The director is interpreting the writer's vision, and we all interpret it, and they create their own vision as well.

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Steven Wright

I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.

Insurance, Like, Selling, Want, Wonder
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring. . . 'How to Build a Boat. '

Asked, Book, Desert, Island, Islands, Stranded

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat

Funny, Humanitarians, Humor, Vegetables, Vegetarians

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Cowboy, Follow, Funny, Humor, Models, Musicians

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. . . I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Birthday, Funny, Humor, Let, Same

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

Daydream, Dream, Funny Inspirational, Kept, Love, Wandering
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