I wish the first word I ever said was the word quote, so right before I die I could say unquote.
I don't think in terms of results at all. I think: what next insanity can I shock the world with?
I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
The audience. They see the name Mel Brooks, they want something really funny. They don't want to be moved; they don't want to be taught any lessons. [. . . ] I get more letters for Twelve Chairs and Life Stinks than I get from any other movies, because people actually agree with the philosophy, or were moved, or they love the movie.
I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart. . . badoom, badoom, badoom.
The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation. . . but I hear that it's coming quickly.
I have loved music so much from when I was little and I don't know whether it was because I saw my dad doing it and then I got the idea, I don't know what came first. . . But I always had a hairbrush in the mirror singing. I was always with him backstage; I would go out and be pulled in for the last song.
I failed in some subjects in exam, but my friend passed in all. Now he is an engineer in Microsoft and I am the owner of Microsoft.
Spending all my remaining money on a ticket to Florence was rendered needlessly complicated by the fact that none of the ticket-sellers had ever heard of the place. At last their supervisor showed up and set them straight by informing them that the city they had always referred to as 'Firenze' was in reality called Florence.
He that mischief hatcheth, mischief catcheth.