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Have you heard Alanis Morisette trying to play the harmonica? She doesn't know how to play the harmonica. Well guess what, Alanis, I INVENTED the 'don't-know-how-to-play-harmonica-harmonica-solo. '

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Cameron Diaz

I think that women are afraid to say they don't want children because they're going to get shunned.

Children, Say, Shunned, Thinking, Want, Women
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It's not talked about, but you know how girls, as you get older, your boobs sag? Well, as men get older, their balls hang lower. It's called SBH: Senior Ball Hang. I think that's God's way of making sure guys get to feel insecure too.

Girl, Insecure, Older, Senior, Think

I don't even own a TV because I think it's the devil.

Devil, Reality, Think, Thinking

I'm not ashamed of being a bubbly, funny person. I think that's as valid as being the dark, brooding, tortured Oscar-nominated one.

Brooding, Dark, Oscars, Think, Thinking

Comparison is a brutal assault upon one's self. Once you compare yourself to someone else, what you're really saying is that what you're made of isn't good enough.

Brutal, Comparison, Enough, Good Enough, Made, Self

I think humor is the best gift, and if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

Humor, Laugh, Laugh At Yourself, Laughing, Think, Thinking
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