Who would ever think that so much went on in the soul of a young girl?
A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.
You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
To always hit the target, throw a dart, then call whatever you hit the target.
A man of fine perceptions is more truly feminine than a merely sentimental woman.
If we give up the notion that everybody’s life is perfect but ours, we would be a lot happier. Nobody’s life is perfect.
I don't think the way I look at myself has changed.