I used to work at UPS I got fired for unloading packages into my car. - Felipe Esparza

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Quote of the day

Another car is not going to help me out, a nicer car, I've already got it. A bigger house ain't gonna do anything for me, and you know, a yacht, it's not going to do anything for me anymore. So how can I find happiness?

Felipe Esparza

I used to work at UPS I got fired for unloading packages into my car.

Car, Packages, Used, Work

Same Author Quotes

I could never have a threesome. This is not a threesome body. This is a turn off the lights body, leave your shirt on body - this is a tell nobody.

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I love my dad. He used to walk around the whole neighborhood and collect old furniture and fix it, like MacGyver with duct tape. One time, he brought a television home. I said, 'Damn, that TV has 500 channels. ' When I got older, it didn't have 500 channels - it was a knob from the oven. My favorite channel was 300 degrees.

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I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

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The police pulled me over and asked me if I have anything illegal in my car. I looked at my cousin and I ran.

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I like to watch French movies with the volume up so my neighbors could think I'm terrorist.

Movies, Neighbor, Terrorist, Thinking, Watch, Watches

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