Same topic Authors
Quote of the day

If the Soviet empire still existed, I'd be terrified. The fact is, we can afford a fairly ignorant presidency now.

Popular Topics
Children, Like, Kind, Food, America, Knowledge, Achievement, Education, Dream, Nice, Inspired, English, Story, Subject, Loves, Involve, Kindly, Beach, Organization, Inspiration, Art, Memorable, Weak, Air, Jesus, Fly, Peace Love, Evidence, Wisdom, Dress, Willing, Ideas, Culture, Beauty, Girl, Excellent, Goodbye, Technical, Justice, Secret, Curiosity, Scholar, Heart, Religion, Fitness, Oceans, Identity, Surprised, Afternoon, Amazing Music
Demetri Martin

If you are wearing a bandana you better have something wise to say, because you are starting with a credibility deficit.

Credibility, Deficit, Starting, Wearing, Wise
Same Author Quotes

Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.

Interesting, Magnet, Magnets, Refrigerator, Refrigerators

I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude. ' 'Dude, these are isotopes. ' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine. ' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies. '

Funny, Homies, Humor, Im Sorry, Nobel, Removed

My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

Funny, Garbage, Garbage Disposal, Humor, Screwed, Turns

I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left. '

Carnegie, House, Practice, Take, Wish

Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.

Cardboard, Essentially, Home, Machines, Sharpie, Speed
Similar Quotes