Life isn't just to be found, you have to work for it.
I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense.
Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space.
When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.
Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world--an assigned parking space.
I like to do nice things for my grandchildren - like buy them those toys I've always wanted to play with.
"You're more trouble than the children are" is the greatest compliment a grandparent can receive.
Fondle the woman in your life once for every thousand times you play with your private parts. That should be just about right.
Let's pick it up," the man behind her said. "How many more of the tranquilizers do you have?" "Just three," the girl panted. "Gonna have to restock. " "Right. I'll just. . . head down. . . to the convenience store, and-" she didn't finish, the strain too much.
Santayana's aphorism must be reversed: too often it is those who can remember the past who are condemned to repeat it.
We don't really know the ultimate outcome of our lives. All we can say is, "Fate has brought me thus far. This is where my life is right now, and I can either choose to stay here, or I can make a different turn that will take me somewhere else. " I certainly am an advocate of taking a jump off the tallest mountain and just hoping a net appears. More often than not, when you take those leaps of faith, something really incredible happens. It might just take some time. You might take a long, hard journey, but the end of it is usually a great one, I find.