First buy a cowboy hat and boots. Then you're on your way to being a Texan.
The best time to buy a home is always five years ago.
I try to buy stock in businesses that are so wonderful that an idiot can run them. Because sooner or later, one will.
The woman you buy takes a great deal of money. The woman who gives herself to you takes all your money.
I'm so Optimistic I'll take my last 2 dollars and buy a Money Belt.
I have people who buy my books just so they can sit them around and show them off because of the titles, especially the Shut Up, Stop Whining and the Grow a Pair. So the title is very, very important.
The fascists in most Latin American countries tell the people that the reason their wages will not buy as much in the way of goods is because of Yankee imperialism. The fascists in Latin America learn to speak and act like natives.
If we all used clotheslines, we could save 30 million tons of coal a year, or shut down 15 nuclear power plants. And you don't have to wait to start. Yours could be up by this afternoon. To be specific, buy 50 feet of clothesline and a $3 bag of clothespins and become a solar energy pioneer.
When you give people too many choices it makes them hesitate and not buy stuff.
The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.
As far as my street cred goes, I'll always have that, because I always hang with the kids. I'll jump right off the stage and buy them a beer. I'll be a star on stage, but I'll always hang with the kids.
Republicans buy sneakers, too.
The Israelis have a lot of influence with Congress, and in some cases they are able to buy influence.
We visit bookshops not so often to buy any one special book, but rather to rediscover, in the happier and more expressive words of others, our own encumbered soul.
Critics don't buy records. They get 'em free.
If you want money, buy lottery tickets. If you love music, practice and keep your overhead to the bare minimum. Keep your promises, who you are is more important than what licks you know to any band leader.
Cows given genetically modified growth hormones make more milk, but have painful swollen udders, have ulcers, joint pain, miscarriages, deformed calves, infertility, and much shorter life spans. Their milk contains blood, pus, tranquilizers, antibiotics, and an insulin growth factor that can cause a fourfold increase in prostate cancer and sevenfold rise in breast cancer. This is the milk used in our school lunch programs and served to our children. This is the milk that you buy every day. This is the milk used in all cheeses, yogurts, butter, and cream.
The time to buy stocks is consistently over time. You should never buy your investments with the idea, 'I have to get a certain return. ' You should look at the best return possible and learn to live with that. But you should not try to make your investments earn what you feel you need. It doesn't work that way. The stock doesn't know you own it.
We like to buy stocks which we feel are undervalued and then we have to have the guts to buy more when they go down.
Here's an idea: let's get over ourselves, buy a cherry pie, and go fall in love with life.