I have learned some things. Modern life is warfare without end: take no prisoners, leave no wounded, eat the dead--that's environmentally sound.
When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it can't be cured.
A man never feels more important than when he receives a telegram containing more than ten words.
Made by General Motors, on order from Sears Roebuck.
The experience of the gangster as an experience of art is universal to Americans. There is almost nothing we understand better or react to more readily or with quicker intelligence. In ways that we do not easily or willingly define, the gangster speaks for us, expressing that part of the American psyche which rejects the qualities and the demands of modern life, which rejects Americanism itself.
They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
One listens to one's lawyer prattle on as long as one can stand it and then signs where indicated.
Chris Ofili's suave, stippled, visually tricked-out paintings of the nineties, with their allover fields of shimmering dots and clumps of dung, are like cave paintings of modern life. They crackle with optical cockiness, love, and massive amounts of painterly mojo.
When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.
Bad luck and (extreme) misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity.
The fellow who says he'll meet you halfway usually thinks he's standing on the dividing line.
You're getting old when you see a girl who looks like someone you used to know, and it turns out to be her daughter.
All our troubles come from not being able to be alone.
Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone.
The trouble with the lost generation is that it didn't get lost enough.
What we should have fought for was representation without taxation.
This congestion in the post offices is due to what are technically known as "regulations" but what are really a series of acrostics and anagrams devised by some officials who got around a table one night and tried to be funny.
This is my prediction for the future: Whatever hasn't happened will happen, and no one will be safe from it.
It is in the interests of society to put the Pill into slot machines and to place cigarettes on prescription.
I'm gonna put all my money into taxes. They're sure to go up.