I've hung out at dozens of playgrounds, bored out of my mind, with not even a look of comfort from disapproving mothers all around me. Either they think I'm a pedophile or a deadbeat dad. That's what I get for being a single dad - suspicious looks at the playground.
I was abducted by aliens as a boy. Aliens is the name of a pedophile who lived in my alley.
For example, this, what I said about the bishops who move pedophile priests, the best thing they can do is resign. This isn't a dogmatic thing, but this is what I think.
Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.
Have you seen that magazine Barely Legal? That means when you look at it, you're almost a pedophile.
Former US president, drug baron and pedophile, George Herbert Walker Bush, incidentally, is mentioned more than any other person in my experience in relation to shape-shifting.
How do we help the church get their respect back? I have a plan: pedophile crucifixions.
