Top Zach Galifianakis Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Zach Galifianakis Biography

Zach Galifianakis

Zachary Knight Galifianakis (/ˌɡælɪfəˈnækɪs/; born October 1, 1969) is an American actor, writer and comedian. He came to prominence with his Comedy Central Presents special in 2001 and presented his own show called Late World with Zach on VH1 the following year. He has also starred in films, such as The Hangover trilogy (2009–2013), Due Date (2010), The Campaign (2012), Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014), Masterminds (2016) and The Lego Batman Movie (2017).

Read about Zach Galifianakis in Wikipedia

Random Authors

Zach Galifianakis Quotes

I've never been in love. . . But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food

Arriving, Feeling, Feelings, Imagine

At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?

Adopted, Age, Funny, Humor, Think, Thinking

You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.

Fat, Fit, Funny, Humor, Know, Socks

I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.

Front, Frustration, Life, Paid, Real, Thinking

I love playing a curmudgeon. I just love playing a sour guy.

Guy, Sour, Curmudgeon, Playing

I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell "I have diarrhea" is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points.

Funny, Gross, Humor, Mean, Scrabble, Yell

That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't do that, if we didn't push against those limits, we'd just be standing around onstage and yelling.

Comedy, Limits, People, Standing, Yelling

I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers.

Brother, Comedies, Comedy, Dark, Wayans

You know, sometimes if you work - if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at least, there is a delirium that starts kicking in on the fifteenth hour, and that can help. Below the just thirteenth hour is where I have a concern, because everybody's so tired.

Hours, Kicking, Long, Thirteenth, Tired, Work

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.

Bought, Funny, Hammock, Hammocks, Humor, Revolution

I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.

Country, Dicks, Dream, Funny, Starting

I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling.

Gosling, Next, Ryan

I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that.

Heads, Motivated, Racially, Tea, Way

My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.

Failure, Funny, Humor, Scratch, Smell, Sniff

I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9
11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say "I didn't like 9
11. "

Funny, Hard, Humor, Kind, Talk, Whenever

I do whatever comes my way. But I get burned out on stage. It's a lonely world. I think part of the romanticism about being on the road is you get to meet a lot of - my mom once told me, "You've probably got a woman at every port. " Like I'm a pirate. Obviously she doesn't know her son that well.

Like, Lonely, Mom, Port, Son, Told

I think if you come out to California trying to be an actor, it's pretty hard. There's desperation. A lot of people are desperate, and a lot of people are clueless, including me. It's hard to try to figure it out. I've never told you, but I have head shots that if you saw them. . . they're so terrible! It's so embarrassing.

California, Clueless, Figure, Head, Thinking, Told

I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something.

Enough, Law, Office, Run, Running, School

I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.

Funny, Helmet, Humor, Protective, Wig, Wigs

Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'

Funny, Hate, Humor, Like, Specific

1