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If my mother hadn't tried to sell me chicken Kiev cutlets for $1. 40 after I graduated from college, maybe I would've been the lawyer she wanted me to be.

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J.K. Simmons

I literally went in and auditioned and got the part of "sounds like J. K. Simmons. " I've heard people say a "J. K. Simmons type, but younger" or "J. K. Simmons, but with hair" or "J. K. Simmons but Mongolian. " It's often "J. K. Simmons but. . . ". You think you're on top of the world and they're asking for a "J. K. Simmons-type" and then, before you know it, they're asking for a "J. K. Simmons only younger. " The next step is for a "J. K. Simmons-type. . . Oh, you mean he's still alive?"

Mean, People, Think, Thinking, World, Younger
Same Author Quotes

There are no two words in the English language more harmful than good job.

English, Harmful, Job, Jobs, Language, Two

And if I may, call your mom, everybody. I've told this [to], like, a billion people, or so. Call your mom, call your dad. If you're lucky enough to have a parent or two alive on this planet, call 'em. Don't text. Don't email. Call them on the phone. Tell 'em you love 'em, and thank them, and listen to them for as long as they want to talk to you. Thank you. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

Dad, Enough, Listen, Mom, Phones

I like to act. Every other aspect of show business I find uninteresting.

Act, Aspect, Like, Show Business, Shows

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your D*** lemons, what the h*** am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

Burn, Giving, Lemonade, Men, Thought, Who I Am

People evolve and it's important to not stop evolving just because you've reached 'adulthood.

Adulthood, Evolve, Evolving, Important, People, Reached
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