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For one, I think as a missionary you gotta be stubborn. And you gotta try to be persuasive.

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Dennis Miller

The Nazi signs have got to stop. If you're in a peace march and the guy next to you has a sign saying that 'Bush is Hitler,' forget the peace thing for a second and beat his ass, because he is not Hitler.

Ass, Guy, Next, Politics, Sign, Thing
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I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.

Celine, Dion, Legal System, Love, Thinking

They have an amazing proliferation of TV channels now: The all-cartoon channel, the 24-hour-science fiction channel. Of course, to make room for these they got rid of the Literacy Channel and the What's Left of Civilization Channel.

Cartoon, Channel, Civilization, Course, Fiction

Twitter! Never have lives been less lived and more chronicled!

Chronicled, Lived, Lives, Twitter

And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow.

Abortion, Choices, Easier, Men, Pregnant

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Funny, Humor, Use, Grocery, Eating, Cart
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