The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being … - Dave Barry

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Self-censorship, the most important and most successful form of censorship, is rampant. Debate is identified with dissent, which is in turn identified with disloyalty. There is a widespread feeling that, in this new, open-ended emergency, we may not be able to 'afford' our traditional freedoms.

Dave Barry

The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.

Baby, Having, Man, Old, Sarcasm, Sarcastic

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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

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Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth grade where you put a nail into a glass of Coke and after a couple of days the nail dissolves and the teacher says: Imagine what it does to your TEETH! So Coca-Cola was solidly entrenched in the market, and the management saw no need to improve.

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Scientists tell us that the fastest animal in the world, with a speed of 120 mph, is a cow dropped out of a helicopter.

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A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

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Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.

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