I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded. " - Steven Wright

Same topic Authors

Quote of the day

Wise men wrote the Constitution, but clever judges have been destroying it, bit by bit, turning it into an instrument of arbitrary judicial power, instead of a limitation on all government power.

Steven Wright

I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded. "

Funny, Humor, Instead, Periscope, Submarines, Surrounded

Same Author Quotes

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring. . . 'How to Build a Boat. '

Asked, Book, Desert, Island, Islands, Stranded

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat

Funny, Humanitarians, Humor, Vegetables, Vegetarians

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Cowboy, Follow, Funny, Humor, Models, Musicians

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. . . I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Birthday, Funny, Humor, Let, Same

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

Daydream, Dream, Funny Inspirational, Kept, Love, Wandering

Similar Quotes

Thomas Sowell

Wise men wrote the Constitution, but clever judges have been destroying it, bit by bit, turning it into an instrument of arbitrary judicial power, instead of a limitation on all government power.

Wise, Clever, Men, Power, Constitution

Herbert M. Shelton

These men [medical doctors] plan ways of doubling their incomes and come to the public with the plea that they are sincerely interested in the health and welfare of our children and that they put over their income-increasing programs for the health of our babies and for the welfare of the school children. They are as cold-blooded as any class of criminals on the whole earth. Indeed, I know of no other class of criminals who live by crippling, maiming and killing babies and children.

Baby, Children, Killing, Live, Men, School

Tatyana Tolstaya

Already the writers are complaining that there is too much freedom. They need some pressure. The worse your daily life, the better your art. If you have to be careful because of oppression and censorship, this pressure produces diamonds.

Art, Complaining, Diamonds, Life, Needs, Writers

Saul Alinsky

Love and faith are not common companions. More commonly power and fear consort with faith. . . . Power is not to be crossed; one must respect and obey. Power means strength, whereas love is a human frailty the people mistrust. It is a sad fact of life that power and fear are the fountainheads of faith.

Fear, Human, Love Is, Mean, Power, Respect

Joel Osteen

No matter how dark it looks, no matter how long it's been, no matter how many people are trying to push you down; if you will stay in faith, God will always take you from Friday to Sunday. He will always complete what He started in you!

Friday, Godly, Matter, People, Sunday