I want to solve a climbing problem in the mountains, not in the sporting goods store.
If anyone thinks my show was 'pretty good,' then I've completely failed.
I'm sure that having acted like an asshole for a great deal of my life, then having played assholes for a good part of my life, created a perception that I'm an asshole.
You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes. " That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke thief," I just tell them to come to one of my shows.
What I've realized in the last year, 80% of my act has already happened to me, and it's not until you retell the story at a party or to a friend or it comes up on the podcast that you, I don't know why I'm not doing that onstage!
You don't have to be Willy Loman about it. But, "Airline food is crazy. Hey, what's with these rent-a-cars?" or you go up and talk about how Christopher Walken wanted to know where my dog's tail went. That really happened to me.
I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order.
To some extent I'm guilty of wishful thinking. The absence of the interstitial I find unbearable.
I spend a lot of time in L. A. , and when it rains there you get the entire rainfall for the year in two days, raindrops the size of mangoes. And in Barcelona, the Mediterranean storms come up from the sea, thunder and lightning; its like the end of the world.
Life is chaotic and unpredictable. If a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, it could cause people at the opposite end of the globe to watch a Discovery Channel special on butterflies
But promises based on ignorance always prove disappointing.