A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to 35 and your job still requires you wear a nametag, you've probably made a serious vocational error.
The best computer is a man, and it’s the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.
If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.
Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.
There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.
Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we'd be here every freakin' day.
I've been promoted to middle management. I never thought I'd sink so low.
You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.
Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
The best way to appreciate your job is to, is here to stay.
A foolproof plan for not getting a job - show up for your interview wearing flip flops.
Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
It might be said that it is the ideal of the employer to have production without employees and the ideal of the employee is to have income without work.
If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
No one's dream job involves a kiosk.
Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking about their work.
The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open.
If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.