Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremendous boredom.
He could never see a belt without hitting below it.
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
. . . Never tell a ticket agent, "As a matter of fact, I DID accept items from persons unknown to me! A nice man in a chadar gave me this awesome luggage freshener with a clock attached!" Federal regulations require them to have no idea you're joking as they riddle your body with bullets.
I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I tell them the truth and they never believe me.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Should we do this now?" Pam gave an almost inaudible snort. She was smiling in the glow of the streetlight, suddenly exhilarated. "You waiting for an engraved invite?" Lord save me from sarcastic vampires.
His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it.
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
I fear that I have not got much to say about Canada, not having seen much; what I got by going to Canada was a cold.
We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.
DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.
I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Sarcasm is a Manchester trait.
A person who can laugh and go with life does not demand to be in control, which is why the most controlling people may be sarcastic but lack an authentic sense of humor.
Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car.
[Albert] Schweitzer thus carved out his own path through the first half of this century, a lonely and learned giant amidst the hordes of noisy and shallow theological pygmies.