A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a … - Tina Fey

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There is no such thing as failure; everything is just a stepping stone to a greater lesson or achievement. I have found that to be absolutely true. My so-called failures have been some of my greatest learning tools. I just make sure to fail up. I'm not afraid to fall on my face while I attempt new things.

Tina Fey

A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.

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Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.

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If you ever start to feel good about yourself. . . . . . . they have this thing called the internet.

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And I can see Russia from my house.

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Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that push-up last year for nothing!

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Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.

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