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A good prince will tax as lightly as possible those commodities which are used by the poorest members of society: grain, bread, beer, wine, clothing, and all other staples without which human life could not exist.

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Rita Rudner

Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you. " That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now. " The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram. "

Caring, Funny, Humor, Said, Waiter
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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Annoy, Funny, Life, Love, Married

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers. " And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it. " I didn't know what to do! I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat. " "No thank you. "

Doors, Halloween, Knock, People, Thank

Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.

Bears, Furniture, Like, Live, Men, People

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

Funny, Idea, Life, Love, Met, Right

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

Aerobics, Came, Exercise, Fitness, Gym, Health
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